Stranger Danger, Does it Work?

“Don’t talk to strangers” is what parents have told their children for decades (maybe even cavemen told their kids to stay away from strange men with beards they didn’t know…) But is this good advice?

First of all, although we tell kids not to talk to strangers for their safety, we actually make them talk to strangers all the time. Like when the cashier at the store says hello and a child hides behind their adult, the adult insists that the child be polite and say hello to the cashier. How about your friend from work that your kid has never met. You’d expect your child to talk to them wouldn’t you?

We say the word stranger but what kids hear is “bad guy.” If you ask a child to identify a stranger by showing them pictures, they will pick out the meanest looking, scruffiest men. They won’t recognize clean cut, nice looking people as potentially dangerous. The reality is that people who harm children are tricky. They look like everyone else and, sadly, most often, they’re not strangers to the child. Children are most often victimized by people they know (relatives, coaches, etc.)

So if stranger danger doesn’t work, what should you do? It’s better to focus on what behaviors are appropriate. Here are a few rules Wholehearted Warrior suggests for kids:

1. NEVER go anywhere with ANYONE without your parent’s permission.
2. It’s not ok for ANYONE to touch you in your swimsuit area (unless it’s a caregiver or doctor who is keeping you clean and healthy).
3. Adults shouldn’t ask kids for help. If an adult asks you for help, go get another adult.
4. Stay away from cars.
5. If you get lost, don’t panic. Find a safe adult (a cashier at a store, a security guard, or a mom).

If you’d like to know more, we would recommend you read Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker. We also highly recommend that if you have young children you watch the video from http://www.thesafeside.com/

Do you have any other rules to protect your kids? Tell us what you think about stranger danger in the comments below.